"Fear never wrote a symphony or poem, negotiated a peace treaty or cured a disease. Fear never pulled a family out of poverty or country out of bigotry. Fear never saved a marriage or business. Courage did that. Faith did that."
As I have mentioned, I'm basically a boss at thrift store shopping, (what, what, what, what.. what, what, what, what..). Sorry, couldn't help myself, haha... Anyway! A few weeks ago, I found a copy of Max Lucado's Fearless for 98 cents. I have never actually read one of Lucado's books, but I've heard bits of his speeches and seen dozens of quotes. He always seemed to know what he was talking about, so I figured it was worth the investment.
I'm only one chapter in and it's already one of the best books I have read in my life. I'll be honest though, I'm very interested to see how the book develops, because personally... I don't think being fearless isn't actually possible. I think it's possible to overcome fear. It's possible to not let fear corrupt your life. It's possible to live out your potential despite fear... but the complete absence of fear? It's admirable, but truthfully an unattainable and irrational idea.
One of the classes I took this spring was Advanced Public Speaking. For our final speech, we had to give a TED Talk. I chose to give mine on a quote by Robin Sharma called The Rules for Being Amazing. The quote lists 28 short prompts for living an amazing life. For time's sake, I decided to highlight on just four; one of which was "transcend your fears."
In my speech, I took two different approaches; empirical research and personal narrative. Before you can transcend fear, you have to understand fear. That's where research comes in.
In life, we have primary emotions and secondary emotions. Primary emotions are your reactions to an event. Secondary emotions are your reaction to your emotions. Winner's example is if you just experienced a break up with your significant other, you may feel sad. That is a primary emotion. However, if you then feel sad ABOUT being sad, that is a secondary emotion. This secondary emotion often prolongs and intensifies the primary emotion. The same is true if you are angry about being angry, fearful of being fearful, nervous about being nervous... the list goes on.
Primary fear is a completely natural experience. It is part of the age old "fight or flight" response we have as human beings. When faced with a "fearful" or stimulating event, adrenaline is released throughout our bodies. For most, the brain's hormonal response to adrenaline is fear or anxiety (For others, i.e, "adrenaline junkies, the response is excitement). However, once the adrenaline levels regulate, this initial feeling passes.
The fear that lingers is the secondary fear. The fear of our own fears, and what it could do to us. Secondary fear is what keeps us stuck in our heads. Secondary fears is what captures us, confines our potential, crushes our happiness.Winner prompts that by letting go of how you feel about your fears, they will pass quickly. By learning to accept your primary fear without resistance, you will be equipped to overcome all of life's trials.
Now, that sounds just peachy, yeah? But, is it really possible? Are we really capable of accepting the very emotion that cripples us most? Yes, we are.
I'd like to tell you a story about my brother, Jeff. Growing up, Jeff was terrified of needles, and I mean terrified. In May 2007, my mom had surgery to have her gall bladder removed. Unfortunately, she had some complications and had to go to the Emergency Room. My older sister and Jeff went with her. The ER was pretty busy that night and there wasn't a private room available, so they had my mom is an open galley. The nurse went to start an IV on her, and on just seeing the needle, Jeff straight up blacks out. In the middle of the ER, flat on the floor like a tree being hauled off by a lumberjack.
Now you're probably thinking, a little extreme, but not really that special, a lot of people are scared of needles. And you're right. Over 10% of all Americans, actually. The thing is though... Jeff wanted to be a doctor.
The ER incident happened when Jeff was 16 years old. Recognizing that he probably wouldn't get very far in the medical field with that debilitating of a fear, he made a choice to face it. When he turned 18, he decided he was going to start donating blood. After a few trips to the blood bank, Jeff received a call saying that his blood work came back as having an astonishingly high platelet count and they asked if he would consider donating platelets in addition to blood. Seeing this an opportunity for personal growth and a chance to help many other lives, Jeff agreed. For the next two years, he donated blood or platelets once or twice a month, every month.
In August 2012, Jeff began his first year at Eastern Virginia Medical School. Jeff chose to transcend his fears, and in return, is living out his dream. This picture was taken at his white coat ceremony and I couldn't be more proud. Jeff is going to be an incredible physician. He's brilliant, passionate and determined. I've known a lot of doctors throughout the years; some good, some bad, and some outstanding. Jeff is going to be outstanding, I know that. But without the courage to face his fear, he wouldn't even have had the opportunity.
Jeff is just one of many examples that show is it possible to transcend your fears. It is possible to accept most confining emotion known to man. It is possible to look into the deepest, darkest part of our being and come out shining brighter than before.
Fear is real. Sharks, guns, water, spiders, snakes, fire, needles... all real. Failure, rejection, pain, loneliness... those are real too. Death is real. Life is real. And it's okay to be scared. But being scared doesn't have to parallel being repressed.
Lucado is right; fear never wrote a symphony, cured a disease, or saved a marriage. But that doesn't mean fear wasn't a part of the process. Fear is not only natural, but necessary. Because when we overcome it, fear gives us an opportunity for greatness. It allows us to have courage and to have faith.
"And I don't know why, but with you, I'd dance in a storm in my best dress. Fearless."
I'm only one chapter in and it's already one of the best books I have read in my life. I'll be honest though, I'm very interested to see how the book develops, because personally... I don't think being fearless isn't actually possible. I think it's possible to overcome fear. It's possible to not let fear corrupt your life. It's possible to live out your potential despite fear... but the complete absence of fear? It's admirable, but truthfully an unattainable and irrational idea.
One of the classes I took this spring was Advanced Public Speaking. For our final speech, we had to give a TED Talk. I chose to give mine on a quote by Robin Sharma called The Rules for Being Amazing. The quote lists 28 short prompts for living an amazing life. For time's sake, I decided to highlight on just four; one of which was "transcend your fears."
In my speech, I took two different approaches; empirical research and personal narrative. Before you can transcend fear, you have to understand fear. That's where research comes in.
"—First of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself —nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." —FDR, 1933Most people are familiar with this quote, or at the very least, the bolded section. In an article written for Psychology Today, Dr. Jay Winner explains "the fear of fear."
In life, we have primary emotions and secondary emotions. Primary emotions are your reactions to an event. Secondary emotions are your reaction to your emotions. Winner's example is if you just experienced a break up with your significant other, you may feel sad. That is a primary emotion. However, if you then feel sad ABOUT being sad, that is a secondary emotion. This secondary emotion often prolongs and intensifies the primary emotion. The same is true if you are angry about being angry, fearful of being fearful, nervous about being nervous... the list goes on.
Primary fear is a completely natural experience. It is part of the age old "fight or flight" response we have as human beings. When faced with a "fearful" or stimulating event, adrenaline is released throughout our bodies. For most, the brain's hormonal response to adrenaline is fear or anxiety (For others, i.e, "adrenaline junkies, the response is excitement). However, once the adrenaline levels regulate, this initial feeling passes.
The fear that lingers is the secondary fear. The fear of our own fears, and what it could do to us. Secondary fear is what keeps us stuck in our heads. Secondary fears is what captures us, confines our potential, crushes our happiness.Winner prompts that by letting go of how you feel about your fears, they will pass quickly. By learning to accept your primary fear without resistance, you will be equipped to overcome all of life's trials.
Now, that sounds just peachy, yeah? But, is it really possible? Are we really capable of accepting the very emotion that cripples us most? Yes, we are.
Now you're probably thinking, a little extreme, but not really that special, a lot of people are scared of needles. And you're right. Over 10% of all Americans, actually. The thing is though... Jeff wanted to be a doctor.
In August 2012, Jeff began his first year at Eastern Virginia Medical School. Jeff chose to transcend his fears, and in return, is living out his dream. This picture was taken at his white coat ceremony and I couldn't be more proud. Jeff is going to be an incredible physician. He's brilliant, passionate and determined. I've known a lot of doctors throughout the years; some good, some bad, and some outstanding. Jeff is going to be outstanding, I know that. But without the courage to face his fear, he wouldn't even have had the opportunity.
Jeff is just one of many examples that show is it possible to transcend your fears. It is possible to accept most confining emotion known to man. It is possible to look into the deepest, darkest part of our being and come out shining brighter than before.
Fear is real. Sharks, guns, water, spiders, snakes, fire, needles... all real. Failure, rejection, pain, loneliness... those are real too. Death is real. Life is real. And it's okay to be scared. But being scared doesn't have to parallel being repressed.
Lucado is right; fear never wrote a symphony, cured a disease, or saved a marriage. But that doesn't mean fear wasn't a part of the process. Fear is not only natural, but necessary. Because when we overcome it, fear gives us an opportunity for greatness. It allows us to have courage and to have faith.
So, again, is it really possible to be fearless? But more importantly, do we even want to be? Or do we just have to learn to push aside the fear of fear, and fear less.
"And I don't know why, but with you, I'd dance in a storm in my best dress. Fearless."
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