The best Christmas gift I ever received.

Like many, I haven't quite wrapped my head around the fact that Christmas is in three days. It feels like every year, the days get shorter, the shopping lists get longer and the Goodwin tribe grows in numbers. This year was no exception with my brother Jeff's engagement. His fiancee, Brittany, has been spending Christmas with our family for a while now, but saying fiancee rather than girlfriend definitely makes it more official. Next year, she and my brother Jeremy's fiancee, Erica, will both be Mrs. Goodwin which is even more official and I am beyond excited. Now, to convince one of my older sibling to give me adorable nieces and nephews to buy (way too many) super cute presents for. Hm...

Speaking of, they say the best presents can't be bought at the store. Which I wholehearted agree. The best Christmas present I ever received wasn't something anyone purchased; it was the gift of life and it all started on December 19, 2011.

Have you ever thought you were going to die?

I don't mean a cliche, passing thought of everyone dies or the times where near-miss accident make your heart race inside your chest. And honestly, I'm not even talking about the looming thoughts of death that come with having an incurable, chronic illness.

I'm talking about experiencing a situation that was so terrifying and so overwhelming that you truly believed it was going to kill you. A situation that ripped through every rational thought and paralyzed every notion you had that you were in control.

#tbt to that time I let some guy permanently place a chunk of metal in my chest

Today is Thursday, which of course means I have to post a #tbt. While TimeHop did remind me this morning of the single most amazing best friends halloween costume I have ever had being one year ago today (said costume can be seen here), I thought I should probably blog about something slightly more "substantial"....

Earlier this evening, I had a conversation with a friend who will be getting her first mediport placed tomorrow. I realized while talking to her, that just over a year ago, I was in her exact position. (I know, because about four days ago, TimeHop reminded me of that Instagram post.....) I wrote a blog about my decision to get a mediport placed. It was not an easy decision for me. I was angry, sad and more than anything.... absolutely terrified. Thinking back to the feelings I had before my port and my perspective now, I had a reality check about how much change can happen in a year's time.

DISCLAIMER: After 23 years, I don't even flinch at "medical" stuff anymore, but out of respect to those that do find the topic less than desireable, I will say now this post contains mildly graphic images. 

If you'd like to take the long jog down memory lane, you can read my original blog post here (http://www.jillian-goodwin.com/2014/10/sometimes-hardest-thing-and-right-thing.html#more). But for those that would prefer the quick 'n easy version, carry on...

If you don't tell your story, someone else will.

This morning started like any other. I got to work, painfully made my way to our office Keurig to get a cup of coffee (since I slept through my alarm and didn't have time to make any at home) and then slowly made my way back to my desk. I pulled up my email, replied to a few work inquiries and then, naturally, hit new tab and typed in Facebook.com to see what the latest buzz was. (For the record, I manage my company's social media and am expected to post on recent events so this is totally a work requirement..... ). 

Within seconds, I see my alma mater, Old Dominion University, as the very first "Trending" topic. Normally, I would be surprised. Yes, ODU is a decent size, public university here in Virginia, but most people outside of the state have no idea who we are. Okay, let's be honest... not even everyone in Virginia knows who we are. My sister, an avid Hokie fan/alumni, is going to laugh at me for saying this... but we're no Virginia Tech in the eyes of the greater American public.

(p.s. Jen, spellcheck definitely just told me that Hokie is not a word so...)

Today though, I was not surprised in the slightest to see ODU trending, considering the events that have transposed in the last 72 hours. 

The One I've Been Waiting 23 Years to Write.

"Most of our lives are a series of images, they pass us by like towns

on a highway. But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens

and we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image.

We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever."

Lucas Scott, One Tree Hill

Two weeks ago, I had one of those moments.

I was sitting at my desk, mind-numbingly editing a 64.1mb Adobe Illustrator file... Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my job, but this particular project required me to edit a very detailed map illustration of the entire Southeastern Virginia region. Remember those old Rand McNally road maps your parents kept in the car? You know, before Google Maps and iPhones? Yeah, that detailed from Gates County NC to Richmond, VA... every single street (most with street names...) state park, airport, school, military installment... Yeah, you get the point.

I was practically counting the minutes to 5:00pm because my vision was start to blur and because I was suppose to go to an afterwork event that included free food/alcohol (which is always a great idea). Just a few minutes to go and my phone began buzzing. When I looked down, I saw the all too familiar 953- prefix that is the Naval Medical Center Portsmouth. I'll admit, normally I screen these calls because it's always an appointment reminder, and I can't stand that automated robot women telling me what time I'm suppose to be at the hospital. But this call was different. This call I was expecting.

This call, this moment, was going to change my life.

I'm picking up good vibrations.

Say hello to my new best friend, my Animas Vibe insulin pump with built in Dexcom G4 CGM.

For those of you that don't know, I am an insulin dependent diabetic. I was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis Related Diabetes (CFRD) shortly after my fifteenth birthday and I got my first insulin pump just before I turned eighteen. 

CFRD is a direct result of my cystic fibrosis ...hence the "CF related" part. Approximately 30-40% of individuals with CF will develop diabetes, most during adolescent or young adult years. CFRD is a rather peculiar disease. Doctors aren't 100% positive why it develops or what causes it to happen in some but not all patients, but the general idea is that it develops after years of pancreatic scarring. Some believe that genetics, outside of the those that cause CF to occur, can influence the outset of CFRD but who knows? 

Often, when someone says "I'm diabetic," people will ask are you type 1 or type 2? Let me just say, you get some really funny looks when you reply "Neither." Neither? How is that possible? Allow me to explain...

UPDATE: I'm a big kid now.

Or something like that.

Per usual, it's been forever and a day since I updated this thing so here's the run down....

On May 8th, 2015, I received my Bachelor of Science from Old Dominion University. I graduated Summa Cum Laude with a major in Communications and double minors in Graphic Design and Public Service.

On May 13th, I interviewed and was hired for my first, full-time job as a Marketing and Social Media Intern with the Hampton Roads Economic Development Alliance, which I started on June 8th.

And finally, on June 22nd, I purchased my first pair of Christian Louboutin Heels. Which is, of course, the ultimate tell that I am finally a real grown up... Kidding. But really.

In all seriousness though, it's been a busy six months since I last blogged. My last semester of college was one for the record books. A few highlights included but are not limited to...

• Getting to spend a week in Honolulu and a week in Colorado Springs for Christmas break, then a week in Portland, Oregon for spring break
• Having my last semester schedule consist of just one, once a week night plus two online electives
• Receiving an academic scholarship from the Boomer Esiason Foundation and later being interviewed and featured on their website and having my graduation photo on their national Facebook profile
• Serving as Membership Vice President for my sorority and having the chance to mentor and welcome ten of the sweetest young ladies into our chapter, including my absolutely perfect and adorable little
• Being hired as Director of Public Relations for ODU's Student Government Association and getting to be involved with my university on a level I never knew existed, and in turn, meeting and creating friendships with some of the most driven young adults on our campus
• Standing next to my best friend on her wedding day and then making basically the entire room cry, myself included, when I gave my awesome maid of honor speech
• Getting to attend a 1500 person fundraiser as part of my internship, an event that I'd be helping plan since August
• Applying for and being selected as a finalist for the Kaufman Award, one of the most prestigious awards given by ODU to graduating seniors that demonstrated exemplary service and leadership
• Being selected as the Outstanding Student of 2015 for my major by the dean of the College of Arts & Letters
• Having all of my siblings be able to attend my graduation, the first time all six of us were in the same place since 2012

All in all, I'd say I pretty much had it made. It was definitely the best, and fastest, 16 weeks of my life. I am incredibly thankful for all the opportunities I've had so far this year. And for all the love and support that made it possible. I feel like I'm on top of the world right now and so very excited to start this next chapter of my life, as a real grown up.

Understandably so, I've been thinking about that phrase a lot lately and what exactly it means. Wondering at what point in our lives do we just snap our fingers and say "whoomp, there it is...I'm an adult now!" I've joked a lot lately about "having to be a grown up" and mostly, it's just that, joking. But there's also a hint of truth because for me, graduating college is definitely a turning point. A catalyst, shall we say, to all that is to come.